Sorry again, my sweet readers. I might have to change these to come out on Thursdays instead of Wednesdays. Some crazy stuff has been happening at work (layoffs but I’m safe and have insane survivor’s guilt). I honestly have no real content today as I’m still reeling over the uncertain nature of the job market.
It’s starting to feel like spring. It’s the most joyous time in New York when the flowering trees smell like cum and you’re sneezing every two seconds because some city planner thought it was smart to plant only male trees. Despite this, I feel a sense of refreshing delight, maybe not in my own life but in the faces of my neighbors. Prospect Park was teeming with life last night as I lazily jogged around in the humid weather. Even the turtles in the pond were out again. I passed by a handful of volleyball games, a million picnics, and a huge pack of happy dogs fetching tennis balls. The warm kiss of the sun, the chirping birds, and maybe something about how everyone is just a little more naked brings out the best in people.
Meanwhile, I felt so awful last night because I wanted to be happy for myself and soak in all the nice weather but I just couldn’t allow myself to fully relax. Sometimes my anxiety manifests as this goo that makes everything sticky. I can’t enjoy anything because there’s a dark unpleasant film coating everything. I can’t even take a full deep breath without choking on my heart. I broke my diet and betrayed my L-glutamine supplements by taking out a family meal at Popeyes and eating it while binge-watching Beef on Netflix which led to more anxiety. It’s a really good show though, please hit me up if you have watched it!!
Don’t be like me. Please go out and enjoy the nice weather, my good friends. Peace and love.
Big fan of the line: "The warm kiss of the sun, the chirping birds, and maybe something about how everyone is just a little more naked brings out the best in people." Sending hugs Dani!