On being alone and treasures in booths
I’m in love with being alone but also in love with all of you + a weekend recap
The purgatory that is those weeks before spring when we can’t tell if it’s winter or not are truly the hardest months. I find myself ruminating on old memories that I can’t seem to shake off once the sun sets and I’m alone with my thoughts. It’s 2023 and I’m still bitter about the years that the pandemic stole from my college experience. I spent much of my pre-pandemic college days working way too hard at school and my part-time job that I didn’t leave much time for fun. My biggest regret is not taking advantage of the only socially acceptable communal lifestyle that was university.
Instead of making the most of being around my peers, I spent a lot of time alone. I wasn’t lonely though. I enjoyed my solitude and keeping my peace. I investigated the city at my own pace. I found myself carving out time to sit in cafes to read, go to museums, watch movies at the theater, and go to restaurants all on my own. It was a time no one could judge me and I could accept who I was in the moment. While I learned a lot about myself and value the importance of solitude, the pandemic made me look back at those moments with remorse.
Now, my post-grad adult self can never find time to be alone anymore. These days I try to keep a balance between the introverted and extroverted sides of myself. I’m trying to do the things I couldn’t and didn’t do that much in school like clubbing or just fucking around (now that I don’t need to walk on pins and needles with my shitty fake ID). This past weekend was something I wish I did more of.
On Friday night, my dear friends from school drunkenly wandered around Williamsburg trying to look for a cool crowd to be subjected to as we drank another round of beers. After brushing past a few sleepy dive bars, we encountered a place blasting new wave 80s hits outside. Through the window, you could see people dancing under multiple disco balls. Obviously, we went inside. It was a Japanese izakaya turned discothèque, clad in Japanese film posters and also a framed picture of David Bowie’s mugshot. Synth-y tunes from acts like the Pet Shop Boys and the Rah Band reverberated throughout the bar as I grabbed us Kirins on draft.
We sat at a booth and drank a bit as we watched a group of European tourists dance kookily around us in their little backpacks and baseball hats. This was probably the end of their night after a day of sightseeing. Spurred on by the funky beats and energy those Europeans were giving off, we made our way to the dance floor. My friend noticed something lodged in the booth seats as we were getting up. To my astonishment, I gathered that the small glass I just freed was actually a vial of cocaine. Yes, coke!!! We freaked out a bit but I put it in my pocket and we danced for a little, all knowing we shared a little secret. Now what we did with the coke was the true secret. The following day, we sat in my living room taking turns giving each other tarot readings. So much change is happening right now, we all asked the same questions about our careers, relationships, and guardian angels.
To tie off the weekend, Sunday was spent playing pickleball in LES. Afterwards, we headed down to my friend’s place on East Broadway to watch the Chinese New Year parade from his fire escape. I hadn’t properly watched the parade since I was a kid so it was quite the treat. Various Chinese-American organizations made their way through the streets garbed in red scarves or fancy qipaos. The occasional Chinese beauty queen sashayed around a float as she waved gracefully at the people on the streets.
I went home feeling so content and full of the city’s kindness and my friends’ love. These days I really feel like I’ve made a home here through the people I’ve met. My heart is so whole. The city and its people really just keep giving.
This is also a reminder that today is the day after Valentine’s Day so candy is on sale!! Please go to your local drugstore and get yourself some half-off Hersey Kisses.
Until next time! Peace and love.